trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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