Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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