You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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