Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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