I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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