Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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