Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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