As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
