Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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