i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
