I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
