Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I CAN MOONWALK!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
