dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize