There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
