He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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