margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
