6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Can Purell be used as lube?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
