I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
