Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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