i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
