The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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