Little spoons don't ask big questions
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
