I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
