I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
