Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
