This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
