We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
