In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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