I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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