I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
