Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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