I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
