: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I didn't notice because vodka
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
