Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Panties = found
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
