Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize