it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
