you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
