Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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