I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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