I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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