OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
