i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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