ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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