Who wears a wallet chain?!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
