I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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