your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That accounts for only three of the penises
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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