So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
