Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
