$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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