conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
