He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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