The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
