no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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