my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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