I heard we made out
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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