I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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