I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They have beer where we have blood.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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